6 Years Building a Women-in-Tech Community
Introduction
When I co-founded XXIT in 2019, I wasn't even a developer yet. What started as conversations among friends about the lack of representation and support for women in Korea's tech industry has grown into something far beyond what we initially imagined. Six years later, having evolved from XXIT to DefyDefault as we expanded globally, I'm reflecting on the journey that taught us as much about community building as it did about ourselves.
The Growth We Never Expected
Looking back at our achievements feels surreal. We grew XXIT from a small group of passionate individuals to one of South Korea's pioneering women-in-tech communities with over 11,500 members. We've orchestrated high-profile conferences and events, partnered with industry giants like Samsung Galaxy and Apple, and created opportunities that have genuinely advanced women's careers in IT.
Our first DefyDefault event attracted over 120 attendees, marking what felt like a successful evolution of our mission. We've collaborated with leading platforms to provide our members with valuable resources, from professional development to global networking opportunities. As organizers, we've led brand partnerships, managed complex event logistics, and hosted key events, ensuring each experience was both inspiring and high-impact for our community.
But behind these numbers and partnerships lies a more complex story of struggle, learning, and unwavering commitment to our mission.
The Struggles That Shaped Us
When Mission Becomes Exploitation
One of our biggest challenges has been dealing with individuals and organizations who see our mission—ensuring women in tech aren't overshadowed—as something they can exploit. There's an assumption that because we're passionate about empowering women, we should naturally provide free services, experiences, or expertise to anyone who approaches us with the right buzzwords about "supporting women in tech."
When we were XXIT with 6 organizers, and now DefyDefault with just 4 core team members, we're essentially a passion and belief-driven group. Initially, this made it incredibly difficult to navigate these situations. Should we compromise our boundaries for the mission? Should we say yes because it aligns with our beliefs?
The breakthrough came when we realized that our mission and beliefs can only be sustained when we take care of ourselves first. The energy we allocate beyond our own wellbeing is what we can genuinely offer to others. We learned the wisdom of quickly cutting off what isn't serving us or our community. It wasn't about being selfish—it was about being sustainable.
The Question That Validates Our Existence
"Why do we need a women-only tech community?" This is the question I've been asked countless times—in interviews, at networking events, even in casual conversations. Each time someone poses this question, it ironically reinforces exactly why DefyDefault needs to exist. The fact that people still question the necessity of creating safe spaces for women in tech reveals how much work we still have to do. When someone asks why we can't just "join regular tech communities," they're missing the point entirely. The very existence of this question highlights the barriers and biases that women face in tech spaces—the subtle exclusions, the imposter syndrome amplified by being the only woman in the room, the tendency for women's voices to be overlooked or their contributions minimized. These questions taught me that our community isn't just about networking or professional development. It's about creating a space where women don't have to constantly justify their presence or prove their technical competency. It's about building an environment where sharing struggles doesn't feel like admitting weakness, but rather like finding solidarity.
The Retention Challenge
Like many communities, maintaining consistent engagement and retention is an ongoing struggle. While our community members show strong loyalty (which we're incredibly grateful for), we're not always the most active group. This has taught us the importance of consistently organizing small events and touchpoints to ensure we're meeting our members' evolving needs. It's a delicate balance between quality and quantity, between intimate gatherings and large-scale events.
Why We Continue: The Power of Togetherness
Despite the challenges, the reason we persist is crystal clear: we get to witness and facilitate the confirmation that none of us are alone in this journey. There's something profoundly powerful about making visible the fact that the path in tech, as women, doesn't have to be solitary.
This feeling is amplified during our offline events. There's an irreplaceable energy that happens when women in tech gather in person—the conversations, the connections, the moment when someone realizes they're not the only one who's experienced imposter syndrome or workplace challenges. It's in these moments that our mission becomes tangible. This is exactly why I'm planning another offline event when I return to Korea. Because despite video calls and digital communities, there's something magical about sharing physical space with people who understand your journey without explanation.
Looking Forward
As DefyDefault continues to break barriers and create powerful support networks for women in tech worldwide, we're more committed than ever to our vision. The journey from a small group of friends in Korea to a global community has been challenging, rewarding, and absolutely necessary.
To the women reading this who are considering starting their own communities, or to those who are part of existing ones: your voice matters, your experience is valid, and you're not alone in this journey. The tech industry is better when it includes all of us. And to my fellow organizers and community builders: remember that sustainability and impact go hand in hand. Take care of yourselves so you can take care of others.
The journey continues, and we're just getting started.